Ok, here we go again!

Although I am still at the begining of my long road to slimness, I haven't given up totally. I find that reading about other peoples success's really encourages me to believe in myself. Other people can do it and there is no reason why I shouldn't. We have just celebrated the festival of Eid which is a bit like Christmas in that there is loads of food and rich food too. Time is spent with family and when you visit someones house, you must eat. I really feel unhealthy and sluggish and I don't like the feeling. Today I made a decision to cut down rather than go on THE DIET. Tommorow I may feel strong enough to start a diet. I am hoping to lose a bit of weight before heading back to the gym but I don't feel confident yet. My sister will probably get married next year and I must lose weight for that, I suppose that is my main incentive now and I guess if I give myself a year to achieve my goal, then I have enough time if I start now. Anyway, got to go.

New Diet

I thought I had better post just to let you know I am still here. I haven't exactly been on a diet to be honest. Same old story, I get sick of hearing myself make excuses. I get fed up of thinking the same old excuses. However, maybe this is the incentive I have been waiting for! My foster sister has just got engaged and she will probably get married next summer. I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT, there is just no way I am going to her wedding looking like a lump of lard. The worst things is.......I lived across the road from the grooms dad when I was younger! his grandparents thought I was lovely EEEK!! (and slimmer and prettier) Can you imagine what he will think when he sees me now. I turned a few heads when I was in my teens. Nowadays, heads turn away. I am going to lose all my weight by next year and I am going to do what I love at her wedding, and that is dance. Anyway, thats enough of the little daydream. Back to reality.

NB: I have lost 3.5 lbs!

Day 1 - Off to a bad start

NO SLEEP AND NO JUNK FOOD MAKES ME ANGRY!

I woke up this morning feeling so tired because my 5 year old had a bad dream and couldn't get back to sleep. She made sure no one else could sleep either. I remember waking up a few times after she went to sleep and kept looking towards the window hoping for a glimmer of light which would tell me that the night was over and a new day had begun. But no, the night lasted for ever. I finally got to sleep at the crack of dawn only to be woken up by the postman at 7.30am! That for me is not good. As I am trying to lose weight, I cannot turn to my comfort which is food. Put lack of sleep and no comfort food into a pot and you will create the worst combination possible. That is me, I am a Timebomb which does go off and then miraculously reforms only to go off again. I am so angry! I had planned to go to the Gym today but I am exhausted so that is another thing which is making me angry. The more angry and down I feel, the more I want chips. I have been off work for 2 weeks on leave and I am returning tommorow. I don't want to go back because I am having a few problems at work and don't feel appreciated. Add that into the pot together with no sleep, no junk food, no gym and to top it all off, add my three kids who all fight each other and cause chaos. I really want a cream cake. Can anyone help. Is there anyone there........

Weigh Day - New Begining?

Well, here I am again, ready to give it another try. I weighed myself today and faced the scales. I have to lose a whopping 9 and a half stones. Even the thought of that makes me want to give up already. I have just had my hair done and it looks wonderful and I am feeling slightly more motivated. I have phoned up the gym and booked a review. I have a membership which I haven't been attending for 3 or 4 months. That is the story of my life and I have no one to blame but myself. I have little support in terms of having people to talk to because Ican't afford to go to clubs or pay online. I have this journal which I will try and maintain but I hope that people will help me through this emotionally because I have no will power and a low self-esteem and lack confidence.

Anyway, I weigh as of today. 19st 7lbs! That in itself took a lot of courage to put down on my blog. I would be happy at 10st but my recommended weight is 8 st 7lbs.